There was a time when I had practically no self-control. The least little thing would cause me to snap at those around me. I usually behaved my worst around those I loved most. It seemed as though everything conspired to make me angry. Of course those were the days when I was sleeping no more than 4 hours at a stretch. I would sleep throughout the day as I found time. I was getting at most 6 hours sleep in a 24 hour period. Usually less. The few times I did pray, I prayed for deliverance for myself.

God eventually delivered me from the working hell I was in. He put me in a job that was closer to home. My 4 hour round trip commute became a 1 hour round trip. My temper got better but I still had very little in the way of self-control. I was not grateful to God, I found other ways to indulge my sinful nature. This lack of self-control was not only sinful but self-destructive as well. Though I had a good job and a happy life to all external appearances, the direction I was heading would have lead to anything but a happy life.

Thank God for His mercy! He used the situation I was in to demonstrate to me that I am among the regenerate and that He would not abandon His own. I could not enjoy my sin because of His Holy Spirit, and I could not enjoy His Holy Spirit because of my sin. I finally gave up my pursuit of self-indulgence. I finally decided there was merit to self-control and tried to exercise that self-control. It was a dismal failure. Every time I tried to control myself it ended up in disappointment. These attempts were just a few of many events in my life God used to teach me to rely on Him solely.

Only now do I think I’m finally getting the picture. Only now that I have stopped trying to control myself and given that up to God am I finally exhibiting self-control. I’ve had people at work tell me they admire how I am able to stay calm in tense situations. Funny, I didn’t think I was calm. I’ve had my wife tell me how she admires how I control my temper around my son. She points out that in the ‘old days’ I would have yelled, now I talk to him and try to help him understand. It isn’t me, it’s Him.

God has been more merciful to me than I have deserved. He has been using my own sinfulness to teach and instill within me the fruits of the Spirit. He has now seen fit to open my mind and help me understand what He has been trying to do. He has removed the fight from within me. He has graciously given me a repentant heart and a desire to please Him. I am finally learning that it is not what we have done nor what we do but what God has done and will do inside us. You can’t develop the fruits of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit ripen within you without your knowledge or consent. They just begin to bear forth from you as God continues His work within you in His good time.

God is faithful, merciful, sovereign. Soli Deo Gloria.

For men, one of the most difficult attributes to master is gentleness. At least in my opinion. We are taught to be protectors, soldiers for Christ, to take our sins captive. All very martial and not at all gentle sounding. We want to put on the full armor of God and fight! God takes a very different tack: gentleness.

He gives gentle instruction:

Let my teachings come down like raindrops. Let my words drip like dew, like gentle rain on grass, like showers on green plants.
Deuteronomy 32:2

A gentle answer turns away rage, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

Place my yoke over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves
Matthew 11:29

However, the wisdom that comes from above is first of all pure. Then it is peaceful, gentle, obedient, filled with mercy and good deeds, impartial, and sincere.
James 3:17

He gives gentle answers:

When a gentle breeze began to blow from the south, the men thought their plan would work. They raised the anchor and sailed close to the shore of Crete.
Acts 27:13

He created us to be gentle:

As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.
Colossians 3:12

He asks us to be gentle:

Brothers and sisters, if a person gets trapped by wrongdoing, those of you who are spiritual should help that person turn away from doing wrong. Do it in a gentle way. At the same time watch yourself so that you also are not tempted.
Galatians6:1

Be humble and gentle in every way. Be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other.
Ephesians 4:2

He must be gentle in correcting those who oppose the Good News. Maybe God will allow them to change the way they think and act and lead them to know the truth.
2 Timothy 2:25

Believers shouldn’t curse anyone or be quarrelsome, but they should be gentle and show courtesy to everyone.
Titus 3:2

He is gentle:

“Tell the people of Zion, ‘Your king is coming to you. He’s gentle, riding on a donkey, on a colt, a young pack animal.'”
Matthew 21:5

He rewards those who are gentle:

Blessed are those who are gentle. They will inherit the earth.
Matthew 5:5

Remember the gentleness of our Sovereign God as you go through your day. Before you correct that subordinate at work, before you correct that little one at home, before you begin a discussion with your wife, remember God’s gentleness. As He has dealt with you so you should deal with those who are under your authority and all those around you.

On faithfulness, from the very words of our Sovereign God…

I’m not worthy of all the love and faithfulness you have shown me. O LORD, your mercy reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Because of your faithfulness, O my God, even I will give thanks to you as I play on a lyre. I will make music with a harp to praise you, O Holy One of Israel. I will sing forever about the evidence of your mercy, O LORD. I will tell about your faithfulness to every generation. O LORD, the heavens praise your miracles and your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones. O LORD God of Armies, who is like you? Mighty LORD, even your faithfulness surrounds you.

I have not buried your righteousness deep in my heart. I have been outspoken about your faithfulness and your salvation. I have not hidden your mercy and your truth from those assembled for worship. Where is the evidence of your mercy, Lord? You swore an oath to David on the basis of your faithfulness. Will anyone tell about your mercy in Sheol or about your faithfulness in Abaddon? What if some of them were unfaithful? Look at the proud person. He is not right in himself. But the righteous person will live because of his faithfulness.
Can their unfaithfulness cancel God’s faithfulness? His mercy toward us is powerful. The LORD’s faithfulness endures forever. Hallelujah!

I said, “Your mercy will last forever. Your faithfulness stands firm in the heavens.” My faithfulness and mercy will be with him, and in my name he will be victorious. Don’t give glory to us, O LORD. Don’t give glory to us. Instead, give glory to your name because of your mercy and faithfulness. Your faithfulness endures throughout every generation. You set the earth in place, and it continues to stand. It is good to announce your mercy in the morning and your faithfulness in the evening. It is new every morning. His faithfulness is great.

I have chosen a life of faithfulness. I have set your regulations in front of me. By mercy and faithfulness, peace is made with the LORD.  Fathers make your faithfulness known to their children.  By the fear of the LORD, evil is avoided.  Fear the LORD, and serve him with integrity and faithfulness. The LORD is good. His mercy endures forever. His faithfulness endures throughout every generation. He ordered them, “Do this wholeheartedly-with the fear of the LORD and with faithfulness. “

An official asked Jesus, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God.”
Luke 18:18-19

The LORD said, “I will let all my goodness pass in front of you, and there I will call out my name ‘the LORD.’ I will be kind to anyone I want to. I will be merciful to anyone I want to.
Exodus 33:19

Do not remember the sins of my youth or my rebellious ways. Remember me, O LORD, in keeping with your mercy and your goodness.
Psalms 25:7

I believe that I will see the goodness of the LORD in this world of the living.
Psalms 27:13

Your flock settled there. Out of your goodness, O God, you provided for oppressed people.
Psalms 68:10

O LORD Almighty, deal with me out of the goodness of your name. Rescue me because of your mercy.
Psalms 109:21

They will announce what they remember of your great goodness, and they will joyfully sing about your righteousness.
Psalms 145:7

They experienced the goodness of God’s word and the powers of the world to come.
Hebrews 6:5

All goodness comes from God, only He is good. If there is any goodness in you, thank Him.

How is kindness different from love? God shows His love to those whom He has chosen by enabling their belief, by offering them salvation, by atoning for His chosen by sacrificing His Beloved on the cross. God shows His love by bestowing blessings upon His chosen. God shows His love by selecting them for eternal life. We show love by taking care of one another, being faithful to one another, and helping one another. How do we show kindness then? Love and kindness sound so similar. They are but with one important difference, kindness can be shared with those we don’t love.

God shows His kindness in many different ways. He keeps the planet warm and habitable, sends the sun and rain at just the right times, and He provides us with water and food. This is kindness that is expressed to all life on the earth, not just His elect. God enables some to become rich and enjoy their wealth all their days on earth. This is kind in that many of them are doomed to destruction. (I don’t judge them, God does.)

One may ask then if God is so kind to those who are not His chosen, then why doesn’t he just save them anyway? If you had spent your whole life denying that there is a God, or even worse, not caring if there is a God or not, would it be kind to for you to stand before God for all eternity? To have to stand and praise God all eternity when you never believed in the first place would be very unkind indeed.

We can’t pretend to know God’s motives. Our highest love is not quite as good as His lowest kindness. How can we ever hope to understand His greatest kindness? Or for that matter, His deepest love? Emulate your Father. Show kindness to those whom you don’t love.

Holy Lord, I have barely enough to make ends meet. I work hard but the money always seems to be gone. I don’t know what to do Father. Won’t you help me?

Silence.

Holy Lord, my family is all gone. My children don’t call or visit any more. I’m lonely and feel as though my heart will break. Won’t you bring me home?

Silence.

Mighty God, you know how young I am but I want to serve You so badly! I want to find a Godly man to share my life with and raise Godly children but there doesn’t seem to be anyone in sight? How long must I stay in my parent’s home? When can I begin Your work?

Silence.

Most merciful Father, one trouble after another seems to pile itself on to my life. I trust You and know You will deliver me from all evil. When will these troubles end?

Silence.

When God doesn’t seem to answer our prayers, when it seems as though He is turning a deaf ear to our needs or troubles or sorrows, we must remember to ask ourselves, is God’s answer “No” or is He trying to teach us something? First of all turn to scripture to seek His answers, secondly consider that He may be teaching you to rely completely upon Him. God doesn’t do things on our timetable but on His. Wait for Him. He will take care of you at the proper time. No sooner, nor shall He delay.