Now I don’t want to brag but I think I have a pretty good marriage.  But one thing I realized was that really, my marriage was on autopilot.  Now, providentially it was moving in a good direction and there were no huge problems.   Really though, I knew it could be better.  What I realized, and this was back in January, was that I had stopped “dating” my wife.  Also at that time I began to read about marriage after marriage that ended up in affairs or divorce, simply because the couple had stopped relating to one another.  They had lost the connection.  They “loved” each other but they weren’t “in love” with each other.

To that end I decided that even though we didn’t appear to be in any danger in the least, I was going to take steps to reconnect with my wife.  As a start I decided begin dating her again.  The approach I took was that I would plan the date, I would not ask her what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go.  I was the man, I was pursuing her, I made the plans, I asked her out.  Some dates were expensive, most were dirt cheap. Here are some of the dates we have been on:

• An evening at a comedy club
• Dinner and a movie
• Dancing at a nightclub (yes, I do dance, and she dances … just…. wow.)
• Picnic by our favorite lake
• A visit to a local hotel (remember, we’re married)
• Italian sodas at a local coffee house
• Parking in the car and just talking

The most productive dates with her have been just sitting and talking.  One thing I learned in reconnecting with her is that many times she just needs me to listen and understand her.  I don’t need to solve the problems she is encountering.  She just needs me to hear her.  My needs are more simplistic but believe me, with our connection getting stronger, those needs are being met many times over.

So guys, don’t forget to date your wives.

She just is.

I received this from a cousin.  It’s good info to share so here you go.

I was reading an article about how the Japanese people are so wired (they
use cell phones more than we do), but this contributed to a problem during
their recent crisis.  People that are missing cannot call and tell anyone
they are safe because their cell phones ran out of power.  A specialist in
emergency management gave these suggestions, which I think are great in case
we were to ever experience something like an major earthquake, etc.

–Save all your contacts on your home computer, update them every few
months, and print a hardcopy of your contacts to keep in your car in case of
an emergency.

–Write down the toll-free numbers for your banks and utility companies. In
the event of a disaster, this will allow you to turn off your utilities,
reprint credit cards, and temporarily change your address.

–Designate a friend or family member who lives outside your area to be your
family’s emergency contact. In emergency situations, long-distance calls
have a better chance of getting through jammed phone lines because they only
require one connection to get through, while local calls require two
connections.

–If you are in a disaster area, and aren’t able to get a hold of family or
friends on your phone, change your voicemail to say the current time, your
location, and that you are safe. This will allow anyone trying to reach you
to know you’re alive and where rescuers can find you.

Mrs. Flying Deacon and I had a bit of a scare last night.  I went out to get a drink of water at about 11:30pm and noticed the front door was unlocked.  This is not an uncommon occurrence so I locked the door without thinking about it and headed back to the bedroom.  I poked my head into each kid’s room to check on them and noticed my son was missing.  Ah, he must be out on the front porch looking at his lizards.  I went back to the front door and quietly unlocked it and jumped out onto the front porch with my best “Ah-ha!” look.  But he wasn’t there.  I made a more careful search of the house but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.  By this time Mrs. Flying Deacon had gotten wind of the situation and was also looking.

Okay, time to go off the reservation and look around.  I got in my car and drove around the neighborhood checking his usual haunts but he was nowhere to be seen.  After I returned home we decided it was time to call the cops.  I called local police dispatch and explained the situation.  They had an office at my door within 15 minutes to their credit.  I explained to the officer that my son had apparently walked out the front door with no jacket and no shoes, wearing only a t-shirt and shorts and was now nowhere to be found.  She said she’d check the neighborhood and either return with him or call us and let us know what the next steps would be.  Ugh.  Sick feeling in the stomach.

She got back into her patrol car and went one direction while I went the other.  On a whim I turned toward the canal (which I had already checked).  I could see the patrol car in my rear view mirror.  Then much to my relief I saw my son across the street walking up the sidewalk apparently returning home from his night on the town.  I signaled the police cruiser behind me that I had located my wayward son.  I was relieved beyond belief to see him walking back so like any loving father I jumped out of the car, ran toward my son shouting “Hey!  You get over here right now young man!”

I first had him talk to the police officer who seemed somewhat in disbelief that he was just as we described him.  She couldn’t believe he left without his shoes.  So the first thing she said to him was, “Hey, are you alright?  Why did you leave without your shoes?”  I was thinking, Oh come on, handcuff him or something.  After she was satisfied that everything was okay I sent him to sit in the car while the officer and I concluded our business.  To my surprise she said, “Good job dad.  You found your son.  So many people just wouldn’t care.  They expect us to find them.  But you came out and looked for him and found him.”

I took him home and had a “brief discussion” with him on appropriate times to leave the house and what it means to be grounded.  Then we all went to bed but it still took Mrs. Flying Deacon and I some time to de-stress and sleep.  As upset as I was with him I had to admit to myself, I always will go out and look for him.  Always.